A journal about our journey to parenthood. Requesting prayers and donations for our tubal ligation reversal.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Our Tubal Reversal Dreams!

Everyone has dreams. Most people dream of a being successful and rich. Others dream of being famous. Our dream is to be able to have a baby.

I was blessed with three beautiful children. My babies are no longer babies, but they are miracles just the same. I met the father of my children when I was only 18 years old. At the time I felt he was a good man, and one who would love his children with all his being. I became pregnant with my oldest daughter, Elizabeth while using a condom, and although we weren't married, we thought together we could make a good family for our little girl.

Two years later we had a second child. Once again we were using protection when we concieved, this time I was taking birth control pills. Our marriage had become rocky by this time, but when the pregnancy test became positive, we were happy. We were excited for our oldest daughter to have a sibling, and we enjoyed every moment of the pregnancy. In August 1996, Morgan entered the world. Our Morgan is intelligent and curious, and was a joy to behold as an infant. I felt my world was complete.

The "wonderful" father by this time had disappeared, and was replaced by an angry, unpredictable man. I had begun to fear the man I was married to, and lived my life fearing him. I became pregnant soon after Morgan was born, and he forced me to terminate the pregnancy. He drove me to an abortion clinic with two babies in tow. I will remember until my dying day the people trying to convince me that I was killing my child. I pleaded with my former husband to change his mind, but he told me if I didn't go through with the abortion, he would leave the children and me and take everything we owned.

A year later, my former husband moved the children and I to another state far from our family and friends. The children and I no longer had anywhere to turn if I decided to leave, and that was what my husband wanted. He wanted us to be alone and totally dependant on him, and that is what he got. I no longer wanted to sleep in the same room as him, and most nights I would sleep with the girls. When he wanted sexual relations, he would drag me into the bedroom with him and force me to have sex with him.

In February 1998, I discovered I was pregnant again. I was heartbroken and elated all at the same time. I feared that my husband would again attempt to force me to terminate the pregnancy, and I knew I couldn't do that. I still was having trouble living with myself for allowing him to force me to have one abortion, I knew a second one would kill me. This time, when my husband ordered me to terminate the pregnancy, I put my foot down and informed him I wouldn't do it again.

In order to be allowed to keep my baby, my husband told me that I *had* to have my tubes tied. If I refused both, he told me he would leave me and take our girls with him. He didn't want the girls, and he stated that he would give them to his mother if I didn't get my tubes tied. In order to keep my babies, I promised I would tie my tubes and I wouldn't "make" him have anymore children.

Just over a year after the birth of our son, I took the children and left my former husband for good. He voluntarily relinquished his parental rights to the children and we never saw him again.

Fast forward to October 1999...

I met a wonderful man who fell in love, not only with me, but my children as well. We married in August 2002, and in the time we have been together we have become a family. He adopted my three children in July 2004, and there is only one thing missing in our lives...a baby of our own.

My husband has never had a child of his own, and all three of our children desperately want a little brother or sister. We have so much to give a baby, but due to the continuing reign of terror my former husband left on our lives we are unable to concieve.

We can afford to give a wonderful life to a baby, but we are unable to afford the costs of reversing the tubal ligation. We are requesting kind souls to reach into their hearts and help us afford the costs of the tubal ligation reversal surgery so that we can be blessed with the pitter patter of little feet.

Please visit
our site and help us make our dream become a reality!

Jennifer

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I to have walked in your shoes,and now I to want so bad to undo my.God bless you and me and hope one day our dreams will come true.

September 5, 2005 12:51 PM  
Blogger GMT said...

My story is similar to yours. I gave birth to 5 full term babies and one miscarriage between May 23, 1970 and September 21, 1978. The last child I had died at the age of 4 in 1982. My marriage quickly dissolved into a royal mess of assessing blame for Benjamin's death. Also my first daughter born in 1971, was a still born due to the neural tube defect, anenecephaly. But the point was that no matter what I used that was suppose to control my ability to reproduce, I got pregnant anyway. After I had my 3rd and first live born daughter to go with my two sons, I didn't intend to have anymore children. Benjamin had other ideas and with the use of the diaphram, he managed to get fertilized and make his presence known the day Sharon was 9 months old. It wasn't that I didn't want him. I was sick of being pregnant. By the time he was born, I was thrilled to have him but was making sure that I didn't have anymore, I consented, and with hindsight against my better judgement and urging by my mother, to a tubal ligation. Fast forward to 1984. My marriage was in a shambles and my husband was abusive. One day I had simply had enough and walked out of the family home that I was raised in with my three children, ages 14, 10, and 7. In April of 1985 and nearly a year after I was out of my marriage to my first husband, I met the man that was to become my second. There was only one thing wrong with him. He was 10 years my junior at the age of 23 and had never been married, let alone had any children. Somehow we managed to make ourselves believe we would get past the children part. We got married in 1987 and since I was already 35, we aggressly started plans to have the tubal ligation I had in 1978 reverse. I went through the surgery in November and we waited. But the doctor did such a bang up job on the tubal, only one tube could even be worked on and apparently it closed up shortly after my surgery making childbirth impossible. By then I was coming up on the then cut off for invitro age of 41 and eventually we just had to accept that children of our own was not an option for us. And I hated it. But that is just the way it was. I hope it works for you. But remember if it doesn't for whatever reason, it isn't the end of the world. While going through all the things I went through to have a child with this man, I realized how lucky I was that I was able to have children at all. Most of the women that I met were unable to conceive period. And each passing month brought heartache after heartache for them. If you manage to pull this off, be thankful, very thankful. And if you don't, be thankful for the children you were able to have no matter who the father is. Good luck.

December 27, 2005 4:34 PM  
Blogger Emily said...

There is a yahoo group called By-His-Mercies that helps women towards their goal of tubal reversal. I also had one done in 1998 and have regretted it since. I am praying the Lord will bless me with the opportunity to have mine reversed soon... Also, there is a Dr. Perez that does the reversal for about $2000...If you need more info please contact me at emieloo@yahoo.com...God Bless, Emily

January 30, 2006 5:29 PM  
Blogger wendy said...

I was in a similar situation, and had my tubes tied in 1997. I just recently had the tubal ligation reversal on March 29th by a wonderful doctor at Lakeshore Surgical center in Gainesville, Georgia. His cost is 6300.00, but that includes EVERYTHING and a two night hotel stay. They have several finance companies you can go through or a layaway plan. The office staff is friendly and Doctor Greene is the best! The surgery only takes about an hour and a half. So before you go to a doctor because he is inexpensive, check out all of your options. The cheapest may not be the best. Dr. Greene has people coming from all over the world so he can perform their surgery. Lakeshore Surgical center also has a message board for women whom are awaiting surgery, have been through surgery or have questions about the surgery. Other women , the staff and even Dr. Greene all communicate on this board and you'll find a commradarie like you won't find anywhere else. So if you happen to log on, look for Wendy. That's me!!

May 2, 2006 2:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i want a baby too i had my first child when i was 16 ... i had 3 kids by 21 im now 27 with 4 kids and married to a wonderful man that also loves my kids ..none of wich are his we have been wanting one more baby for about 3 years now and our story is the same as yours i got my tubes tied after my 4th child in 2004 i never knew i would find true love and a man worth having a baby with ever again but i did and we cant afford a reversal so yeah i understand .....good luck
danielle boncek woodstock ct

November 11, 2008 2:37 PM  
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February 25, 2010 9:50 PM  
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March 17, 2010 5:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had tubal ligation over 4years ago. Iam remarried now to my new husband and need children from me.

We are trusting God to restore my fallopian tubes so I can conceive and have a baby. Please pray along with us for this miracle gift of pregnancy

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